Just a Reminder

 

Cows moo, dogs bark, sheep bleat, horses neigh, donkeys bray, cats meow, ducks quack, roosters crow, lions roar, wolves howl, ants are quiet, pigs grunt, elephants trumpet, hyenas laugh, hens cackle, llamas are usually quiet, moths are very quiet, crows caw, pigeons coo, mice squeak, trout are quiet, moles are quiet, chameleons are quiet, bears growl, oxen low, whales sing, salamanders are quiet, stag beetles are quiet, bass are very quiet, owls hoot, crickets chirp, parrots talk, impala are quiet, manatees are quiet, haddock are excruciatingly quiet, snails are quiet, lobsters are quiet; snakes do not hiss, but are quiet; centipedes are quiet; sloths are quiet; porcupines resist all our efforts at communication: they are quiet; dace are quiet; salmon are quiet; earthworms refuse to tell us what they know: they are quiet; flounder are quiet; termites are quiet; after all our coaxing the mayflies remain quiet; hedgehogs are quiet; geckoes are quiet; both the carrot and the stick have proven of no avail: walleyed pike persist in a dogged and perverse silence that apparently nothing will break.

 

 

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Poets toe it:

Correspondence

 

From: Ryu Makoto

To: Eric Mader-Lin

Subject: SLOTH

 

Date: Thu, 12 Feb 2004 07:50:39 +0000 (GMT)

 

Dear Eric,

I already knew that sloth(s) were quiet.

I vant to be left alone....

Drew Sloth

 

***

 

From: Eric Mader-Lin

To: Ryu Makoto

Subject: sloth(s)

 

Drew:

 

Yes, Herr Sloth, your parenthetical (s) raises a question I had--not about your being left alone but about the plural of sloth.  Is it "sloths" or "sloth"? Does one write: "A herd of sloth slowly took over the mall" or "Three sloths together are slower than one by itself"?

 

This is a sincere question.  My unabridged dictionary doesn't give a plural.

 

Eric

 

***

 

From: Ryu Makoto

To: Eric Mader-Lin

Subject: sloth

 

Eric,

 

Two sloths were hanging from a tree

Said A to B, Please let me be!

Sloth B replied,

I thee defy

to tell me whether we should lie

in cloth or clothes

as sloth or slothes.

It seems to me, said A to B,

if goose are geese

then, hanging loose,

we should be "sleaze."

 

If we are called "edentate" beasts

Then shouldn't we be pluralized like "teeth"?

One slooth, two sleeth?

 

And you must take care

When talking to a bear.

A pack of bears, when very wroth,

Are oft referred to as "one sloth."

 

Too bad the plural of toe is never "tee."

For we have sometimes two toes, sometimes three.

If then you take a two-toed sloth to tea

Could two hold up the cup as well as three?

Dear me!

 

With a Lear in your direction,

 

If you can't Poet, toe it,

 

Drew

 

You can frame this by the way... royalties due next month.  No sincere answer available.  My American Heritage is mute on the topic.

 

***

 

From: Eric Mader-Lin

To: Ryu Makoto

Subject: sloth(s)

 

 

Three-toed

Tree-hugging crank,

Sloth sleuth tunes lute

--Loud clank--

Dodges plural,

Pulls poetic rank:

Another toothless

Slowly Learing prank

 

 

Eric

 

 

 

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