"Three cheers to Wanker and the other framers of this new Declaration of Independence!  We Americans are sick of submitting to the small-minded and carping limitations that liberals and Europeans seek to impose on us.  . . . Stand up and show your pride!  Support this movement for a New U.S. Declaration of Independence!"

 

Richard Perleman

Executive Editor

The Disassociated Press

 

*     *     *

 

Re: The New U.S Declaration of Independence

 

When Americans celebrate their independence this July 4th it will be 228 years since the Declaration of Independence was signed.  Much has changed in the course of these two centuries.  Once a ragtag collection of rebellious colonies, America is now a Power to be reckoned with: a military and economic power unlike any the world has ever known.

 

In order to reflect these new political realities, as well as to celebrate the accomplishments of our current president George W. Bush, a number of prominent Americans have decided it's time to draft a new U.S. Declaration of Independence.  These Americans believe our new superpower status demands new thinking. 

 

Taking the lead from the Bush Administration's unique policy decisions, we have thoughtfully considered various new aspects of American independence.  We have drafted a special document to express our thinking on what independence means in the new political order implied by President Bush's policies.  What's more, we have specially prepared this document for the upcoming Independence Day celebrations. 

 

We are sending it to you, as an American citizen, for your approval.  Read it, pass it on, and add your signature or comments.

 

To post a signature or comment to the text of the New Declaration, send us an email reply at:

 

inthemargins03@hotmail.com

 

Read the New U.S. Declaration of Independence at:

 

http://www.necessaryprose.com/declaration.htm

 

We are waiting for your patriotic response to this plea.

 

Sincerely,

 

Myron Wanker

Committee for American Independence

 

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Update, September 20, 2004:

 

The following letter regards the regrettable text that can be found at:

 

http://www.bushpresident2004.com/declaration-from-bush.htm

 

 

Dear bushpresident2004.com:

 

I am writing you about the mock Declaration of Independence you have published on your web page.  Aside from being a flimsy and unpatriotic bit of liberal toilet paper, it is painfully obvious that this document is but a belated satirical response to the honest work that we on the Committee for American Independence have done to re-establish American liberty in a new Declaration. 

 

I challenge you and your lefty cohorts to address Historical Necessity as it is embodied in the new American Republic rising up under the leadership of George W. Bush.  Stop with your ironical half-truths and at least be responsible enough to engage in an honest debate. 

 

I challenge you to address point by point the obvious natural truths being revealed in our time as they are put forth in the original New United States Declaration of Independence.  What I mean is--why not face us head-on?  Why not take up our work critically and directly rather than put forth a spurious imitation, as you and your colleagues have done?

 

The current New United States Declaration of Independence is published online at:

 

http://www.necessaryprose.com/declaration.htm

 

I expect, as is usual with you types, that I won't be hearing from you.

 

Sincerely,

 

Eric Mader

Asst. to Myron Wanker

Committee for American Independence

 

 

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