Obama Stuck Gum Under Desks: McCain

 

A Disassociated Press Report, Waukesha, Wisconsin, October 9, 2008

 

By Eric Mader

 

Republican presidential candidate John W. McCain today raised troubling new questions about the judgment of his Democratic rival Barack Obama.  Speaking at a campaign stop in Waukesha, Wisconsin, McCain revealed that on several occasions Obama stuck chewed gum under tables and desks while a student at Punahou Elementary School in Hawaii.

 

"Friends, I think it is beyond just gross," McCain said before the crowd of supporters.  "I think it shows a lack of judgment."

 

McCain's accusations were based in part on a recent Fox News investigation of Obama's background which showed video images of the gum still stuck under the desks.

 

At a simultaneous rally in Klans Glade, Nebraska, Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin also raised the gum issue and tried to link it to Obama's acquaintance with 60s radical William Ayers.

 

"Our opponent likes to say he was only eight years old when Bill Ayers was committing terrorist acts against America," Palin said.  "But what was he actually doing then?  Now we know the answer.  He was sticking gum under desks."

 

"Maybe that's what they teach you in those jihadi madrasas, I don't know," Palin went on.  "But we don't do that kind of thing in America."

 

Palin claimed sticking gum under desks was potentially a form of "low-intensity terrorist war," and implied that an Obama Administration posed a threat to the furniture in the White House.

 

"That beautiful and historical table you see in the Oval Office--the one you see on TV when our president gives the State of the Nation address.  I ask you today--do we want gum stuck under that table?"

 

McCain campaign chairman Steve Schmidt denied the new gum accusations were proof his campaign had run out of ideas.

 

"Even in this time of disastrous Republican mismanagement, corruption and financial irresponsibility, personal hygiene is still important to Americans," Schmidt said.

 

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The Disassociated Press--Fiction Getting Closer to Facts with Each Passing Day

 

http://www.necessaryprose.com/after.htm

 

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