Bush to Fall off Wagon
A Disassociated Press Report, Heiligendamm, Germany, June 10, 2007
By Eric Mader
After years of not touching a drink, U.S. President George W. Bush decided at the G8 summit this week to fall back off the wagon. Bush was seen sharing a beer with fellow heads of state Angela Merkel, Tony Blair and Romano Prodi.
"His policies have proven disastrous on nearly every front," said an insider from former president George H.W. Bush's administration who requested anonymity. "He's going to leave a legacy of almost nothing but damage control. Word is he figures he might as well just go back on the sauce so he can at least watch it through a blur."
President Bush made his announcement to his peers during an outdoor afternoon chat, and decided to finalize it by ordering a round.
"Europe and the rest of the world will certainly be better off with you drunk all the time," German Chancellor Merkel joked as Bush poured his first beer.
"I must have been drunk when I decided to sign on to the Iraq deal," Blair said.
Unused to pouring beer after so many years drinking Diet Coke, the U.S. president poured too fast and got a glass mostly of head.
"God, you can't even do that right," Blair joked.
"Ah, I can't wait 'til it's all over," Bush said. "President of the United States--what was I thinking?"
"Really, what were you thinking?" said Merkel.
"Now if we can just fiind a way to sedate Cheney," Prodi commented.
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