The Manhattan Reichstag Review:

Noteworthy Correspondence Received

 

 

I. About Saddam's Doubles (Gareth K.'s letter concerns the article:

Three Saddams Down, Two to Go ) 

 

Eric:    

 

My name is Gareth K. Im 18 and am living in the UK. I just was woundering while I was reading your artical on Saddam Husain today that if his son killed him in 1990 following the conclushion of the Gulf War, then why has he being captured? HOW? I know that he had may dubbles but if he was dead then why was he still claimed to be the leader of Iraq. Why did this war start. Was this war not a campain to rid the Iraqi people of saddam, why did so many soldiers die trying to kill a dead man? If he was dead then a new presedent should have being given his duties and we would not have lost so many of our soliders for the 5 doubles of a dead leader? How can a dead man be Americas Most Wanted, I dont think he can. Thank you for taking the time to read this a reply would be appricated.

Thanking you

 

Gareth K.

 

***

 

Dear Gareth:

 

My article was satire.  It is not a real news article, but a parody of a news article.

 

E.M.

 

***

 

Eric:

 

Our men are dying in Iraq for this war against Saddam. It is better not to write things that are not true and that will confuse people. Try not to write these things in the future

 

Gareth K.

 

***

 

Dear Gareth:

 

I'm sorry if you are confused.  But note: There are different kinds of writing in the world.  Some of it is even more confusing than mine.

 

Cheers,

 

E.M.

 

 

II. The Hollywood Threat to Our Security

 

Friend:

 

Mystic River, the new movie being released this Wednesday is starring Sean Penn and Tim Robbins who have been known to spew hate speech against our current President, assaulting his character for doing what he is attempting to do with the war on terror, to protect Americans from further attack.

 

Which has been very successful so far. These 2 liberal actors have sided with Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden and against our own country, as demonstrated by Penn's going to Iraq prior to the war in protest of our pending attack to remove the terrorist regime of Saddam Hussein, saying that we have no right to attack innocent people and that it was the Bush administration that is starting this war.

 

Let us not forget 9/11/2001. We have no way to let the liberals in Hollywood know that they are just actors .... and not representative of mainstream America. But if each one of us routes this note to all of our friends who support our troops and the administration, and make sure that they do not go to this movie, that is a start . Encourage all you know ...... not to go to it. By doing this .... these actors won't be able to get a job. Look what it did for Alec Baldwin's career! He's a washed up actor that watches his mouth these days.

 

We have 2 days until this movie starts. Let the boycott begin. Route this to every loyal patriotic person you know and stay away from this movie with these anti-American activists. These are 2 very outspoken hate ministers and we can make a difference.

 

 

***

 

Friend:

 

This note about Mystic River is much appreciated.  While in L.A. last year I heard from someone in the know that Sean Penn is actually a secret Muslim fundamentalist and that he once read part of a book on Marxist gorillas in Central America!!!  Did you notice how he often appears with a short beard recently?

     Penn isn't the half of it, however.  I'm working on an article right now about various Hollywood figures who are actually Baathist spies or Al Qaeda operatives.  I won't name any names, but Al Qaeda has for years been secretly training many of the actors you see in major motion pictures.    

     For now my article on Bush's State of the Union speech is all I can forward you.  As follows: Bush Says Era of Terror Unfinished (A Disassociated Press Report)

     But I'll stay away from that movie Mystic River!  I wouldn't be surprised if they find subliminal verses from the Koran in it!!!! 

 

E.M.

 

 

III. MY SECOND THOUGHTS, Or: What happened when I finally decided that if the Bush camp can use language that means nothing at all, then I can do so too.  Also titled: BEYOND SATIRE

 

From: blackandwhite@comcast.net

To: flammingooo@wi.rr.com, Rome4u@cs.com, inthemargins03@hotmail.com, notme@wi.rr.com, graced@wi.rr.com, ok@netwurx.net

Subject: Fwd: Fw: John Kerry is a Saint

Date: Sat, 02 Oct 2004 02:36:56 +0000

 

-------------- Forwarded Message: --------------

From: typist@cs.com

To: blackandwhite@comcast.net, danwiffle@charter.net, steve_rankweed@compuserve.com

Subject: Fwd: Fw: John Kerry is a Saint

Date: Fri, 1 Oct 2004 21:22:22 +0000

 

Subject: John Kerry is a Saint!

 

John Kerry was scheduled to visit the Catholic National Cathedral outside Washington as part of his campaign. Kerry's campaign manager made a visit to the cardinal and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Catholics because of Kerry's position on abortion and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say John Kerry is a Saint."

 

The Cardinal thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."

 

Kerry pompously shows up looking especially smug today, and as the Mass progresses the Cardinal begins his homily.....   "John Kerry is petty, a self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low intelligence weasel. He wrote a book and portrayed himself in the best light when he was a traitor to his fellow servicemen. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in for a medal. He married for money and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally known.  But compared to Ted Kennedy, he is a Saint."

 

 

--I received this joke October 2.  Having also read three or four pro-Bush email Forwards that day that made no sense whatsoever, I decided to write the following letter, paste it to the end of the joke, and then return it to the good pro-Bush folks who were forwarding me all this stuff.  In truth I thought the people who read it would see my letter for what it was: a satire of all the absurd arguments I'd been reading in email Forwards for months.  But I was mistaken. --E.M.

 

 

MY SECOND THOUGHTS

 

After writing so much against the Bush Administration during these past years, I'm finally coming to see the serious disadvantages of John Kerry and his flip-flopper thinking.  And now that the election is coming, I really ought to admit openly what I think------- Kerry really IS dishonest, isn't he?  

 

Kerry's policy initiatives will almost certainly lead to failure.  And at this point America can't afford such failure.

     

In fact the first debate made many things clearer for many of us.  Bush is obviously the stronger candidate.  I'm slowly coming to change my mind on many of the issues that previously seemed clear.

    

The way I see it now, the reasons for voting Bush instead of Kerry are many.  I'll only mention a few here: the ones that turned the table in my thinking.  As follows:

 

1) The Iraq War

 

The war in Iraq was in fact the right move for America.  As time goes on, this becomes more and more obvious.  We were right to go into Iraq rather than spend more time securing Afghanistan.  And there are good reasons this war was undertaken.

 

Those who complain that no evidence has been found linking Saddam's Baathists to bin Laden are just carping on unimportant details.  Such critics are risking America's future by ignoring the obvious--- Saddam and bin Laden were linked.  After all, they both shared the same evil designs on America: they both actively sought our destruction as a nation.  This means that a war against Saddam was justified just as much as a war against bin Laden would be justified.  Just because no evidence of a connection between them has yet been found doesn't mean much in terms of political realities, or in terms of political expediency either.  For one thing: How easy would it have been to keep such clandestine connections secret?  And another: How easy would it have been to burn the evidence of their meetings?  In point of fact, the Baathists and al Qaeda were linked just as surely as Hitler's Nazis and the Mafia were linked in the 1930s and 40s.  Such movements must be fought no matter what the costs!

   

But this is not all either.  In conducting this war the Bush Administration was right to ignore the advice of the experts.  In occupying Iraq, there is no need for academics and experts when you've got a staff that includes men like Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz.  The Administration's repeated refusals to take advice from the State Department and others, their refusals to take more seriously the warnings of our allies over Iraq--this does not show reckless irresponsibility, as many would have us believe, but rather it shows something else: it shows a true STRENGTH OF CHARACTER.  The current Administration at every turn has shown the strong character of someone who knows they are right and who is not going to be stopped by mere academics and nitpickers.  Some expert on the Middle East with his facts and theories is no match for our strong-willed leaders who know what is right and wrong and who are only doing things to bring about a good outcome.  This is my sincere opinion.

 

In fact the rightness of the Iraq war can be demonstrated on various fronts at this point in our history.  As has been said: "We don't need a permission slip to defend our nation."  The war was necessary in our fight against terror.  But this is not all.  Consider the outcome of the war.  Just consider: Where once we had a dangerous enemy, we now have a new ally rising up.  The Iraqi people will become democratic and they will become America's allies.  Thus the investment we've made has been well worth it, not only in security terms but in diplomatic terms as well.  As long as we stay the course, this reality will come about!!!

 

Many say that we have alienated much of the world with our conduct in the War on Terror.  They say that much of the world suspects the war in Iraq is really about oil.  Let them suspect what they want.  The truth is that we don't need such allies.  Who needs cooperation if your allies are not willing to go along with your plans?  Our CIA and our military are all we need to defeat the terrorists, not cooperation and support from leaders whose own hearts are corrupted by their greed and their wrong thinking.

 

 

2) The Economy or the Environment: You Choose

 

Many people working to fight global warming or working to protect the environment in other realms have said that the Bush Administration's policies have been nothing short of a disaster.  But what they don't say is something that has become increasingly true: Global warming is not really happening.  But also: Biodiversity and protecting our natural environment is not really all that important, because Nature can mutate and protect itself.  After all, who are we to protect Mother Nature?  She is powerful and can take care of herself.

 

The Bush Administration has chosen to undo a lot of the environmental protection because they see that it puts a damper on our economy.  It hinders our timber industry, our auto industry, etc., etc.  Air and water pollution laws hinder our factories and prevent them from making money.  A robust economy is necessary for a happy America, and so in choosing economic expansion instead of environmental fantasy the Bush Administration has made the right choice.  This is really my heartfelt opinion.  I have the right to my opinions too, just as anyone.

 

What's right is right.  Why should Americans stop buying and driving SUVs?  Cars are an important part of our culture.  If the Chinese can drive cars (and they have over a billion people!) why should Americans be hindered in the kinds of cars they can drive?

 

Global warming has not been proven, and there are some scientists who even say it might not be true.  So it is much better to support Bush and his policies in order to keep up a rubbish, I mean robust, economy.

 

 

3) Conclusion

 

In both it's principled decisions in the War on Terror, and in it's choosing of the right choices--economy or environment--the Bush Administration has proven it makes the right choices.  That's why I've decided to vote Bush instead of Kerry this time.  I know he is the Right Man for the Job.  As I've said, America cannot afford a slip up at this crucial historical juncture.  Too many serious slip ups have been made already.  So it's time for people to stop carping and stand by this President!!!

 

E.M.

October 2, 2004

 

 

--This, verbatim, is the letter I sent out.  Consider its logic (nonexistent), consider its marshalling of facts (none).  Consider the reference to a "rubbish economy"--could that have been a typo?  Regardless of all this, within a day of sending my letter out I'd already received three congratulatory replies!  How utterly depressing.  In fact this whole thing has taught me a lot about America.  As follows:

 

JMB wrote:

 

 

YOU GO BOY!

My only comments to your's is... DITTO!

JMB

 

 

H.S. wrote:

 

It is hard to know for sure who is good to support in this election. The President? We've heard so much about what he's been told, the intelligence and such. But I'd much rather believe that the man in the White House has his heart truly set on fighting these terrorists. It's important we have a President whose heart is in the right place.

 

 

F.N.I. wrote:

 

 

Here here, Eric! It's good to see you've abandoned your wayward thinking and are adopting a more positive conservative ideology. The only candidate able to protect our country is George W. Bush.  Welcome on board!

 

 

--Three positive responses!  It really does make one think.  And I have thought about all this quite a bit.  And so it is, Reader, that I have decided this 5th of October, 2004 to finally and truly give up my writing against the Bush Administration.  My above letter may have been satire, but this final word is not.  I hope my friends and supporters will not be too disappointed. 

 

I've taken this decision for various reasons.  First, I've taken it because I've learned that anyone who supports George W. Bush cannot really read what I write anyway, and so my attempts at persuading people are fruitless.  But there is a second and more important reason.  I've realized with the above letter on "Second Thoughts" how incredibly easy it must be to be a Bush speechwriter.  And so: If I can get such immediate approbation and support for the illogical nonsense I typed out in my letter, imagine what I could accomplish if I put some work into it.  As a Bush insider, my salary would quadruple and I'd go from being a suspicious "radical" to being a respected patriot.  I imagine town houses in D.C., state dinners, high-class Texas call girls.  It's time that I stopped fighting against historical necessity.  The fate of a nation hangs in the balance, my own future prospects are an issue: it's time I did my part. 

 

Anyone reading this who has any upper-level connections in the Bush campaign, please send me information on whom I might contact.  I'm looking to send in a CV.   --E.M.

 

 

 

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