The Disassociated Press

--Better news than you deserve--

 

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2009-2012 (posted at Clay Testament):

 

Durex Announces New "Santorex" (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Romney Robot Rightward Ho!

 

Expatriotically Speaking

 

Romney Faces Hard Sell with SC Unibrows (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Why I Do Not Work for the CIA

 

FREEDOMLAND: A Painless Proposal for Breaking up America

 

Obama: Tea Partiers are Right

 

SUPPORT the Fat Tax!

 

Obama is the Antichrist: An Open Letter to the Scholars

 

2008--Special Defeat Sarah Palin Issue:

 

 

"Time to clean up this place."

 

Last Adios from our Supreme Commander in Chief

 

The Gorilla in the Pulpit: Why the GOP needs to rethink its narrow religious affiliations

 

Obama to Offer Posts to Fox Journalists (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Bonjour, America!

 

Palin un-American?: Why Dominionists must be Kept from Power

 

Bye, then! (A Farewell Ditty)

 

DO IT FOR SARAH: Vote Obama on Tuesday

 

Our bestness and betterness

 

This changes everything!

 

Pit bull bites off own head

 

Obama Stuck Gum under Desks: McCain (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Truck and Twig Both on Staff! (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Who is Barack Obama? My Debate with T-----

 

McCain Whips own "You Know What" in Last Debate (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

When Sarah Met Henry (A Disassociated Press Exclusive)

 

Time to Pay the "Clown Tax"

 

Sarah Palin's Blasphemy

 

What if the voting age were 6?

 

McCain's Debate Bailout

 

Educated Residents Ordered to Evacuate before Palin Speech (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Sarah Palin: Rising Demagogue

 

Spinning Sarah Palin

 

McCain Challenges Obama to "Jaw Strength" Contest (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

White House Aide Leaks Transcript of Bush Holiday Call (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

2007 Issue:

 

Al Qaeda Stalks Apple for Jihadist Market Share (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Enough with the Iraq Farce

 

Hypocrisy Heats up G.O.P. Sex Lives (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Fool Me Once: Why Americans Shouldn't Get Lured into War with Iran

 

The Truth about "Marzipan Babies"

 

Bush to Fall off Wagon (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Terror Panic Spreads through Heartland (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Clarity a Goal in New Iraq Stragetgy: Bush (A Disassociated Press Report)

On French Arrogance

 

Next Time Around

 

2006 Issue:

 

Gen. William Caldwell: Iraq is a "work of art in progress"

 

O.J. Book Deal to be Taken Over by Cheney and Halliburton (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Rhetoric to Stay Upbeat: Bush to Supporters

 

U.S. Missiles Strike Canary Islands (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

UN General Assembly Cleared on Terrorism Fears (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Cheney: Iraq retreat would be "more ruinous" (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Predictions for 2006

 

2006 State of the Union Address (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Cheney Shooting Justified: Attorney General Gonzales (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Bush Apologizes for Airstrike Deaths, Explains Policy (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Bush and Cheney: How Much Power Should they Have?

 

B-Movie

 

The Soundbites that Got Us There: An Iraq War Catechism

 

"Andy Rooney" and Friends

 

 

2005 Issue:

 

 

 

If eating crow's your only way

It's best to eat it hot today

For if you try to shun your fate

A second crow lands on your plate

 

A Ditty in Response to

our President's Speeches

of November, 2005 --E.M.

 

 

Americans Should Push for Impeachment

 

The Latest Un-American Activity

 

Sorry for being so Irresponsible

 

The New Air Strike Plan (A Disassociated Press Editorial)

 

The Mayberry Street Memo

 

Shame on George W. Bush: the Push to Justify American Use of Nuclear Weapons

 

A Telling Indifference: On the Downing Street Memo

 

Adolf Hitler on Church, State and Family Values

 

Army to Employ Special Koran Protective Packs (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Priory of Sion Added to Terrorist List (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Reasons Not to Assassinate Pat Robertson (A Disassociated Press Editorial)

 

Bush Blames Hurricane on "Red Nio," Proposes Storm Wars Initiative (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Royally Screwed

 

If the Bush Administration made movie trailers . . .

 

Brother-Sister Team to Head Shia-Sunni Peace Initiative (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Roy Moore: Poet

 

 

2004 Issue:

 

If Bin Laden Could Vote: Why Al Qaeda Wants Bush for President

 

Up Against Fanaticism

 

Vote Bush in 2004!

 

The Base: If Muslims ruled the world. . .

 

Correspondence: If Muslims ruled the US. . .

 

Ben Laden, not Bin Laden (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Powell Says Bush Should be First Man on Mars (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Bush Says Era of Terror Unfinished (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Myron Wanker and the Committee for American Independence

 

The New U.S. Declaration of Independence

 

If Jesus had been a Bush Republican

 

Making the Grade in Naples, Florida (a short story)

 

White House Defends use of F-Word (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Republicans Should Explain their Stance on Torture

 

Correspondence

 

Watermelon

 

SUV: A Brief User's Manual

 

A New Low

 

The Pit Bull on the Pantleg

 

Bush Sells Plan for Iraq, Cites Bird Omens (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Honesty the Best Policy (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Bush Declares U.S. New Target in War on Terror (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Muslim Terror Group Praises 9/11 Commemorative Stamp (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

AMERICAN STANDARDS: "If you want to get ahead, you have to learn to speak English as good as we do"

 

The John Edwards Genetic Conspiracy

 

Al Qaeda Getting out the Vote

 

Our New Fire Department: Letter to a Right-Wing Flake

 

Bin Laden in Massachusetts, says FBI (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Hubris and the End of the Bush Era

 

November 3, 2004: Election Victory Congratulations

 

Neoconservative Petro-Math: Lesson 1

 

Ditty for my Fellow Americans

 

The American Political Unconscious?

 

Colin Powell Resigns: "Let the Party Begin" (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

 

2003 Issue:

 

Notes from an American Patriot

 

Our Shrill New Tone

 

On Thinking in Black and White

 

Three Saddams Down, Two to Go (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Schwarzkopf's Mystic Word

 

Standard New-Republican Editorial

 

Clinton-Bashing, Etc.

 

Re: the next presidential election

 

Coincidences around 9/11

 

New Republican Peace Plan

 

The Bad Shepherd

 

Al Qaeda Leader Considers Acting Career (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

AWOL: Amerika Online, 2003

 

Jim Morrison Captured in Iraq (A Disassociated Press Report)

 

Stamp Rage

 

Mysterious Ways

 

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